My Feminity

The single most common complaint that women have is how men so often forget to treat them as different from them.  It takes a while for a woman to get into the mood regardless of how she feels about the man.  For her, undressing is part of the act of being intimate.  Many a man in a hurry to get into the act forgets that undressing a woman, if not done in the right manner, can have disastrous consequences on how she feels during and after intimacy.  So often we get emails from concerned men who thought everything went perfect but they do not hear from the woman again.  When we probe deeper as part of our romance advice service, we realize that while the evening was otherwise planned well, the man did a terrible job in the bedroom.

If you plan on being intimate with a woman then you need to be extra careful in how you treat her.  While it might be just another lay for you, vast majority of women do not feel that way.  For them it is a special moment every time.   Women do not just go to bed with someone for the fun of it.  They need to feel a special connection with that person, they must like the person to some extent, and they want the experience to be memorable.  You will get a second chance to do this only if you do reasonably well the first time.

Undressing, or for that matter the complete act, is broken down into several steps and each needs to be done with tremendous attention and grace.  Here are some tips:

You must tell her how much you love her and touch her very gently. Like you would touch a flower or would just admire its appearance. Since the clothing is the last defense against actual contact, some women may try to keep them on as long as possible, particularly if they feel that they are not attractive enough.

Dim the lights or use aromatherapy candles just in case she feels a bit shy.  Start with a slow; soft kiss so that undressing is part of something bigger.

From far, compliment her dress.  Be genuine and creative.  Do not just say that she looks good.  Tell her exactly what is that is different and pretty about her.  It is much better to say something like, "I like that eye shadow you are wearing" or "That pink bra really suits your blouse" or "I like that you chose to wear a black bra and red panties."

Look into her eyes and gracefully kiss her neck. Tell her what it means to you to have these special moments with her.

Let her clothes fall from her body and kiss her every step of the way.  Offer help when necessary, e.g., with unzipping or helping to fold the clothes (some women are very careful about not just dumping their clothes - even dirty clothes should be gracefully lifted and put into the basket).

Do not touch her yet and do not force her to take her underwear off yet.  If you plan to go to the bath with her, she will do it herself or will ask you to.  If you are headed to bed, then let her be in control.  If you think she is expecting that you take it off for her, be ever so gentle in unhooking the bra and carefully sliding the bra down.  Make sure that you fold it neatly (you can show your affection by feeling or touching or sniffing her underwear after it is off her body).  Repeat the same when taking off her panties.

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 Are your bedroom basics becoming boring? Spice up your repertoire and reignite the fires of passion in your relationship with these top tips from The Lovers' Guide

1. Pamper your senses

Sensual loving begins with indulging and lavishing attention on your body. When women feel stressed, tired or run-down, they often lose the desire for sex. Take time to give your body a treat; indulge yourself and awaken your five senses of smell, sound, sight, touch and taste.

Self-pampering gives our senses a kick-start. Book yourself a quiet night in; turn off your mobile, dim the lights and let yourself relax. Try having a long, hot bath with scented candles and sensual oils, whilst playing relaxing and uplifting music. Lie back, close your eyes and concentrate on taking deep breaths. This simple exercise will unlock your potential for relaxed, alert physical pleasure.

2. Enhance masturbation

Both women and men can be a little too goal-oriented when masturbating, focusing on the end point, rather than enjoying the whole journey. Savour the pleasure by prolonging the experience.

Let your hands wander all over your body, touching yourself as you would like a lover to touch you. Seek out your sensitive spots and linger on them; your buttocks and inner thigh can be especially sensitive.

When you are with your partner, masturbate together and show each other how you like to be touched. The more you and your partner can arouse each other all over, not just through the penis or clitoris, the more sensual your lovemaking will become.

3. Indulge in fantasies

Some people worry about their sexual fantasies, but really there's no need. Your fantasies are a healthy expression of your inner life. Don't worry if you wouldn't consider doing them in real life; this isn't 'real life,' so you can let yourself go.

Your fantasies might be romantic scenarios, involve 'kinky' toys, or be just downright depraved! They may involve sex in public, with more than one partner, or might even be forced sex fantasies - expressing an inner, often unconscious desire to break free of any sexual limits or repressions that you may have.

You might also want to share your fantasies with your partner - or play out a few . Even if you don't want to make your fantasies a reality, talking about them with your partner can take you both to a new level of intimacy.

4. Embrace emotional intimacy

Communication is the key to great sex. There might be things we feel we can't say for fear of being hurt, especially if we've had a bad experience or been let down in the past. However, if you can't communicate properly with a partner, you can become distant from one another - and that distance will affect your love-making.

Make sure you're able to ask for an 'emotional hold' when you need - be that a hug or some words of reassurance - and that you're able to offer the same when it's asked of you. Don't be afraid to show your partner your 'bad side' - any weaknesses you have, or ways in which you feel you don't quite match up.

Your sex life with your partner is a reflection of the rest of your relationship. A healthy level of emotional intimacy with each other will come through in the bedroom, and lead to a far more sensual experience for both of you.

5.  Walk sexy, talk sexy, think sexy!

There's nothing sexier than confidence, especially when it spills out between the sheets! Even if you're not feeling confident, learn how to fake it!

Pretend that you're a confident woman that oozes sex appeal. It takes 28 days to change a habit, so if you start thinking every day that you are a beautiful woman who oozes sex appeal, in one month's time you will be that person.

People respond to the image portrayed, so if you think and act sexy, you'll find that the people around you will think that too!

6. Create a sensual love nest

Is your bedroom sexy? Is it well and truly dedicated to making love? Is it clean, crisp and fresh? Or is it simply more of a room to sleep in, not make love in?

Think about what is in your bedroom that reminds you of sex, it's often the small touches that make a difference. Warm vibrant colours like reds, pinks and oranges enhance sensuality.

Create a setting that you would like to make love in. Replace tinny radios, fluffy toys and mangy blankets with arousing scents such as lavender, rose and ylang ylang to stimulate the senses. Your bedroom should relax you and help you to feel aroused - and sensually switched on.

Lastly, reposition the mirror to get a more exciting view.

7. Keep talking

Why is it hard to discuss sex with our partners? Usually, it's because of repressions - the nagging sense that sex is a bit secretive and should be kept 'sectioned off' from the rest of who we are.

By getting into a 'habit' of talking to each other during sex, you are breaking down repressive barriers and paving the way for more expressive and intimate pleasure.

Talking doesn't mean giving each other a running commentary of their performance - although that can be a great way to learn what each other likes!

♥

 Being able to sexually satisfy your woman is an important step to becoming a great lover. If you can fulfil all her needs, then you'll have one of the foundations of a great relationship.

But there are a lot of things which characterize the perfect lover. In order to "rock her world", you have to know what they are. In this article, you'll learn about the 4 most important traits of the perfect lover. If you can master them, then you'll be on the road towards being a great sex partner.

1- Putting her needs first

When it comes to sex, a woman loves a guy who puts her needs before his own. So when you're in the bedroom, the first priority is concentrate on her needs.

To make her really enjoy sex, you should do specific things which focuses on her pleasure. For instance you need to do the following:

* Give her great foreplay

* Pay her compliments and communicate on a sexual level

* Focus on her pleasure before your own

* Be prepared for the sex to come including using protection

2- Being a sensual guy

In order to really turn on a woman, you must be a sensual lover.

Now the thing to remember about sensuality is it’s not about certain positions and having sex in a fast pace manner. Instead it’s about being in tune with your own body and knowing how to be erotic.

By acting in a sensual way you'll create a seductive atmosphere when you're making love to a woman. The best way to accomplish this is to certain things like:

* Lighting candles

* Having a comfortable bed with a soft feel

* Playing soothing music during sex

3- Love to experiment

I want to be honest here...

Women HATE guys who act boring in the bedroom.

In order to be a great lover, you must be willing to experiment and find out what things she likes from sex. Now the best way to experiment is to test out different things on her and find out what really "pushes her buttons".

It’s a simple fact that ALL women are different. Each of them is turned on by unique actions. By experimenting, you'll find out what really gives her pleasure.

For instance you should try:

* Kiss all her over body

* Give her oral sex and find out what she REALLY wants

* Change the location and the times you have sex

* Test out new sexual positions

* Experiment with things like sex games

4- Make an honest effort to please her

The final way to be her best lover is to make sure you're actually working hard to please her.

Typically most men don't care too much about how a woman feels during sex. Usually these guys think doing the same thing every time will make her happy.

Unfortunately this isn't true.

To really please your woman, you must make an effort to find out what gives her orgasmic pleasure. This means if she’s not enjoying herself, then you'll try different things to discover what works with her.

Becoming the perfect lover to a woman isn't a hard thing to accomplish. If you make an attempt to please her and use all 4 of the actions that I described in this article, then you'll easily be the greatest lover she’s ever had!

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